I feel like I should preface this by saying that I am NOT that girl.

I feel like most little girls dream of their wedding day and have it planned out from the time that they're four. Or at least society leads us to believe that's true.

I don't have my bridesmaids picked out, don't have a location, I really don't have much of it planned in my head at all. If you asked me five years ago who my bridesmaids would be, my answer would be the same. If I had had to pick, my list would probably have been much different.

In college, I decided that I'd like to walk down the aisle to Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. I'll still maybe go for that, but having it played by a harp ensemble, like I had planned, is becoming a bit less important.

When I was a freshman in college, 10 years ago, my dad told me at my orientation that I had to wait until I got out of college to get married if I wanted him to pay for it. At that time in my life, it seemed entirely probable that I would meet my husband there! I told him that we would do a car wash to raise money for it if need be. Any husband of mine would be happy to don a goofy outfit and wash cars to raise money for our wedding.

At one point in college I decided that my husband would have to be musical, and that we would sing Come What May from Moulin Rouge as part of our wedding ceremony. I was informed years later that that is tacky, and that I would want to throw up on my wedding day, and would be in no mood to sing anything. I then asked my friend Casey to be my barf bag holder.

All this to say that there's no man at the other end of the aisle, and until that becomes more clear, until I know where I am finacially at that time in my life, until I know IF there will be a man at the other end of the aisle, who knows what I'll like?

I used to think that I didn't want my dad to walk me down the aisle. Now I think maybe I'd like both parents to do it.

And then there's the first dance song. I used to think that maybe this song by David Wilcox would be a great choice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFvtSBQf8RM

Now, I've discovered this song by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callait: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6r92a_jason-mraz-ft-colbie-caillat-lucky_music

And, reading Shane Claiborne's Irresistable Revolution the thought has crossed my mind that maybe, just maybe, I'll remain single. Although that's not my first choice for my life, it's easy for me to see how much good I'd be able to do as a single woman. I've always wanted kids of my own, but I see tons of potential godsons and daughters around me. I could be the mother of two kids, or I could be the crazy aunt of hundreds.

All that to say, I am NOT that girl. I'm not the girl dreaming of my wedding day,but I have just a few ideas. :)